My Monday Morning Practice

On Monday mornings you will often find me hosting or being hosted in an online event called ‘Meeting Myself’. I am joined by other members of our Presence in Action Collective (PIAC) to identify what I am feeling in this moment using our emotions palette.

Among other things, this process helps me to notice what might be lingering from the weekend, what I am expecting will happen during the week ahead, as well as what has changed. Its like a self coaching practice with the goal of tuning into ourself. 

Believe you me, I often don’t want to meet myself on a Monday morning!

I would rather distract myself with other activities and ‘get sh*t done’ rather than reflect on what’s actually going on. Yet after a whole lifetime of ignoring myself and driving myself on to get ‘important stuff done,’ it’s never quite as straightforward or productive as expected. More often than not it comes with disappointment! I find myself blaming others, perhaps feeling even more frustrated, and don’t mention self-compassion! Because I have a whole lot of agro for myself. Before I know it I’m desperately wishing for Friday so I don’t have to deal with any of my future fictions. 

I recognise that spending time attuning to myself and listening to others is, in itself, a privilege. Firstly, I have a choice of how I spend the first 45 minutes of my Monday morning at work. I don’t have to clock in or be asked what the heck I’m doing when I should be working. I’m invited to take responsibility and look at myself first. Yes, in the short term, it’s quicker and more satisfying to blame others or this ‘messed up world we live in’ and not to look at the assumptions and expectations I put on myself and others that I didn’t even realise were there……but over the 5 years of Meeting Myself,  I notice that I catch things before they catch me!   

The members that witness me have heard words come from my mouth that no one else has heard or will ever hear. We are bound by our principals of practice, which include not sharing what is not ours to share. The added bonus in listening is that I recognise so much of myself in others, that I hadn’t noticed before. And yes, it is also a privilege to hold space for other human beings of all ages and stages of life and to connect at such an intimate level over time.

It also serves as a constant reminder that what is absent is as important to notice as that which is present.

What am I not feeling?

It might be pain in my body, frustration that I had felt the day before, or gratitude I was too busy in my head to notice.

What do I want to feel but I don’t?

What do I believe I should feel? 

Listening to a Gabor Mate webinar recently which referred to his book ‘The Myth of Normal’, I was reminded that trauma isn’t just about what happens to us, but also what DOESN’T happen or what is absent. Sometimes that’s because we just haven’t taken the time to notice. 

I believe that I’m not the only one busy distracting myself from myself and that us humans have a whole economy run on this. There is also a growing economy to put us right again -  medical, physical, and psychological. If we are not choosing to deeply connect with ourselves and others and are instead choosing to live in constant stimulation ignoring what is actually happening inside of us, the benefits may be costly and less effective. 

Learning to be present is free once you know how. It takes practice and may be less exciting than other distractions, but who wants to be absent and alone from our biggest gift of LIFE! 

Presence in Action foundation training is available in Edinburgh in October 2024